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Rebuilding Identity: Managing Safety, Trauma, and Realization



An individual’s sense of self-identity can be profoundly affected by traumatic experiences.
Redefining safety and creating a space for mourning are two essential actions.
It is essential to be around by people who will support you and aid in your healing and development.

An individual’s emotional, physical, and psychological well-being can be severely impacted by traumatic experiences. Many people feel lost or unsure of who they “are” after going through the affects of a narcissistic person, a traumatic bond, a loss, or another unpleasant event since so much of their time and energy has been taken up by the experiences of trauma.

Some people experience a severe loss of identity and find it difficult to comprehend how trauma has affected who they are.

According to Gabor Mate, trauma is not something that occurs to you; rather, it is something that happens inside of you. This implies that what is traumatic for one individual may not be painful for another. However, trauma can have a profound effect on a person’s life.
Childhood trauma is arguably the most detrimental to an individual’s sense of self-identity since it can have conditioned them to feel that their worth as a person depends on what other people think of them.

Everybody will experience trauma in a different way. Nonetheless, there are 24 typical indicators that someone has suffered trauma, such as:

  • Persistent fatigue
  • Absence of trust Avoidance behaviors (compulsive or “distracted”)
  • Emotional numbness Feeling insecure in your own skin, at home, or in your community
  • Having trouble concentrating
  • increased arousal reaction
  • nightmares or trouble falling asleep
  • Breaking Apart
  • Skin rashes or irritations
  • gastrointestinal problems
  • Excessive regret
  • Thinking too much or ruminating
  • Having trouble staying at a healthy weight
  • Anger, fury, or dysregulation of emotions
  • Depressive States
  • Personal seclusion
  • Uncontrollably weeping
  • Interpersonal functioning challenges
  • Fears of being by themselves
  • memory loss or information processing issues
  • False assumptions about oneself or other people
  • Guilt and humiliation
  • Overawareness

It can take a while to rediscover who you are after a horrific experience.

Among the crucial actions are:

Rethink What You Mean by Safety
Finding out where your requirements for safety have been violated is a crucial first step towards healing and self-discovery. According to Judith Herman (2015), establishing safety, grieving and mourning, and reconnecting are the three phases that must occur in order for trauma to heal.

Learning to feel secure in your body, becoming acquainted with somatic experiences, and “listening” to your body’s demands are all necessary to establishing a sense of safety. It entails practicing relaxation techniques and learning how to gain control over the feelings and memories connected to the traumatic experience.

Building a sense of safety can eventually spread to friends, family, and the neighborhood. Nonetheless, a typical consequence of going through a traumatic incident is that the people, places, or circumstances that a person used to identify as belonging to their former life suddenly disappear from their current one.

Some may cut down on the amount of time they spend with specific family members, while others may discontinue long-standing friendships or partnerships that align with narcissistic ambitions. Redefining safety puts an emphasis on promoting tranquility and serenity.

Give Grieving People Time
Coming to terms with your post-trauma new existence is part of grieving. You give yourself permission to recover a sense of agency and control over your life when you give yourself time to digest the hurt. An all-too-common occurrence is people trying to divert their attention from the grieving process with job, relationships, or hobbies.

Avoiding grief might make one more susceptible to addiction, obsessive habits, anxiety, depression, and other health issues. Similar to this, research indicates that if a person engages in a compulsive action to prevent grieving, their habit of avoidance behavior is reinforced (strengthened), raising the possibility of emotional, psychological, and physical issues as a result of these activities.

Give Yourself Enough Time to Explore
Start pursuing new hobbies that let you connect with yourself on a deeper level. This doesn’t imply you have to drastically “change” who you are; instead, it just means you should take the time to discover new aspects of yourself. Examine the things that bring you joy, fulfillment, and wholeness.

Make time for more sleep, time in nature, and counseling with a psychologist who understands trauma. Look at your life with fresh eyes, start delving into new experiences, and surround yourself with mentally well individuals who will continue to support your personal development.


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